slow sunday...
another slow weekend. did nothing much except work. yes, i work on weekends. not every weekends but most, when there's a need to. yesterday mark the official launch of one of my client's project. so there are bound to have some last minute shit to cover. did i mention i screwed up one of the jobs. locked in an order of different amount. i was waaaaay out of target. 499,500 out of target to be exact. sigh... RM20k down the drain. i really got to be more focused and tedious when handling such a big job. REMINDER TO SELF: ALWAYS TRIPLE CHECK! damn.
besides work, everything else is slow. still haven't manage to round up enough balls to call her. she'll most probably reject my calls. should i just call anyways? friends' been very supportive. especially ho. he's like a hero to me. that guy's been through shit much more complicated and worse than me. really look up to that dude. was just having brunch an hour ago. the one and only childhood friend that i really hold close to my heart (alrite, sounding gay). i should heed his advice and start concentrating on other things better than wallowing in my guilt. i still have my work, my family, my friends. but she's been a big part of my life (or maybe not). but she's been through thick and thin with me. she's put up with most of my shits, which she might think it's nothing. sigh...
"what's done is done", says ho. "pick yourself up, move on. she might already have moved on". he might be right. so i think i should just lay it to rest from now. concentrate on more important stuff, like work. i really should set myself some goals in life. the thing is i never had a proper one, a fixed one. fickle-minded?! or i want too many things at once, i don't know for sure what should it be. but i think now 'work' and 'family business' should be playing in my mind 24/7. the elders don't have too long till they retire, so i guess i have only that much time to learn the trades of our business. it's not i'm not enjoying work. it's not i'm not liking what i do. but i just don't strive to do more. ho says i need more motivation, a goal i set for myself to see to. i need a life coach!!!
besides work, everything else is slow. still haven't manage to round up enough balls to call her. she'll most probably reject my calls. should i just call anyways? friends' been very supportive. especially ho. he's like a hero to me. that guy's been through shit much more complicated and worse than me. really look up to that dude. was just having brunch an hour ago. the one and only childhood friend that i really hold close to my heart (alrite, sounding gay). i should heed his advice and start concentrating on other things better than wallowing in my guilt. i still have my work, my family, my friends. but she's been a big part of my life (or maybe not). but she's been through thick and thin with me. she's put up with most of my shits, which she might think it's nothing. sigh...
"what's done is done", says ho. "pick yourself up, move on. she might already have moved on". he might be right. so i think i should just lay it to rest from now. concentrate on more important stuff, like work. i really should set myself some goals in life. the thing is i never had a proper one, a fixed one. fickle-minded?! or i want too many things at once, i don't know for sure what should it be. but i think now 'work' and 'family business' should be playing in my mind 24/7. the elders don't have too long till they retire, so i guess i have only that much time to learn the trades of our business. it's not i'm not enjoying work. it's not i'm not liking what i do. but i just don't strive to do more. ho says i need more motivation, a goal i set for myself to see to. i need a life coach!!!
posted by arboon! at Sunday, September 11, 2005
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home